Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

Visionary
Thu Sep 22, 2005 at 10:47:13 pm EDT
Subject
High Stakes
Originally
Lair Legion Living Room: the round robin!!!
In Reply To

Visionary
Wed Sep 21, 2005 at 10:19:14 pm EDT
<< Prev In Thread
[ Reply ] [ New ] [ Email ] [ Print ] [ RSS ] [ Tales of the Parodyverse ]
Next In Thread >>

“My deal” Hallie said, accepting the deck from Epitome. She accessed digital recordings of Vegas security footage, analyzed the moves of the dealers with a special motion capture subroutine she had written that morning, and easily sent the cards shooting through the air from her left hand to her right. “Ante up, folks.”

“I still say you’re counting cards…” Trickshot grumbled into his can of beer.

“For the last time Bastion, we’re playing poker, not Blackjack.” Epitome replied. “There’s only one deck, and it’s reshuffled each hand. If you’re not counting which cards are out there, then you’re an idiot.”

“An’ another thing…” the archer continued, ignoring the interruption completely. “How is it I had four jacks last hand and still lost?”

“I’m going to go with ‘you’re drunk enough to be seeing double’, since you only had a pair. And actually, it was one Jack and one Queen.” Hatman noted.

“I still maintain that was a really pretty man.”

“You’d think he’d have learned the difference after all that time patrolling the Millar district” Yuki suggested.

Hatman shrugged. “Yes, well… If anybody attacks the mansion tonight Tricky, try to aim for the one in the center.”

“Enough with the gabbing, people… let’s see your money” Hallie drawled. “Art supplies don’t come cheap.”

“How about we make this hand a bit more… interesting?” Flapjack leered.

“Interesting, or skin crawlingly repulsive?” Hallie asked casually.

“You say potato…”

“What could you possibly have that I would want?” the AI inquired mildly.

The disgusting hunchback reached under the table and produced a plain manila envelope which he slid across the table with a wide grin. Hallie eyed him warily, then reached out to open the package. With one look, her eyes went wide and a gasp escaped her lips.

“Nice lighting, don’t you think?” the butler prodded evilly.

“How… where… You little sleaze! All of these photos were supposed to be destroyed!”

Before the twisted man could respond, Epitome was around the table and ripping the small man out of his chair to pin him to the wall. “Wrong move, dirtbag…” he growled.

“Dominic…” Hallie called to him.

“Did you think you could extort the lady just because the Legion has turned a blind eye to your perversions in the past?” He slammed him against the wall again.

“Dominic!”

“A-heh… Finally” the butler grinned. “Someone who knows how to reward the help.”

“We’ll see how much you’re grinning when you’re being booked for extortion, sexual molestation, criminal invasion of…”

“Dominic! It’s a picture of me… in my bridesmaid’s dress.”

The paragon of power’s face froze, then contorted in confusion. “It’s a what?” he asked, looking over his shoulder.

“It’s a picture of me… in my static-ridden, poofy, clashing bridesmaid dress…” she answered through clenched teeth. “Taken in public. In broad daylight.”

Mr. Epitome blinked. “Wait… What?”

“And they call me slow…” Visionary grumbled.

“Er…” Epitome put the butler back down to foot level… at least as level as the lopsided man could be. “Yes, well… you just watch yourself…” he managed ominously. “If you’ll excuse me… I need to go… Away” he nodded to the rest of the table as he made his retreat.

“We’re going to run out of heavy things to break” Hatman noted mildly.

“What do you want?” Hallie demanded as Flapjack retrieved his chair from the floor. “For all copies of this, and the negatives.”

He grinned.

“Forget it” she snorted.

“Did I mention I have pictures of the pie eating episode when you were human?” he asked mildly.

“You! Why… I should… Dammit, I’m in” she agreed darkly. “All those negatives too. And you stop calling me “pixelbottom”.”

“Are you willing to dress up like Miiri?”

“Not a chance”

“Then pixelbottom stays off the table. At least until we get extra frisky.”

“Whatever” she rolled her eyes and dealt the cards. Nobody else dared ante into the hand, though quite a crowd gathered to watch. “How many?” she asked after they each checked their hands.

“Just one” he answered, grinning wickedly.

“You know, now that I’m back to being a hologram, I don’t have the nerve endings to really get into things. It would all be just an act…”

He stared at her blankly, waiting for her point.

Hallie rolled her eyes, flicked the top card off the deck in response to his discard, and took three for herself. “Well now” she said suggestively, leaning over to lay her cards on the table. “Three twos…” she noted. “Not spectacular, but not too bad. If you can beat it, I’m all yours until morning.”

His poker face left something to be desired. “Full house!” he noted gleefully. “Kings over eights!” He laid his cards out with a flourish, revealing an embarrassingly random sampling of ten-high nothing.

Hallie raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “Looks like you need your eyes checked more than Tricky. I’ll expect the negatives in the computer lab by morning…”

“But… but…” he looked at his cards in disbelief and tilted them this way and that in the light. His eyes narrowed as he peered across at the holographic woman. “Hey Harper… where’s the nearest holographic dead-zone where little miss-vitual-pants can’t conjure up whatever image she wants?”

Al B. blinked from his spot over by the pool table. “Um… nowhere on the island…” he noted, giving it some thought. “I think you’d have to go most of the way across the bridge to the mainland before you were completely out of range.”

“Excuse me…” the deformed butler said politely as he scooped up his cards and hightailed it to the front door in a loping, rolling gate. The sounds of his mismatched footfalls could be heard echoing down the front walk as he took off into the night.

“Um… how far is that?” Visionary asked curiously.

Al scratched his chin. “About a mile and a quarter, there and back”

The Regular shot Hallie a concerned look. “What happens when he gets out there?” he asked.

The mansion’s AI system shrugged. “Not much. His kings and eights were the holograms.” She stretched and got up from the table. “What a lovely night to watch someone stroll… Care to join me?”











pcp0011556209pcs.anapol01.md.comcast.net (69.250.214.83) U.S. Network
Microsoft Internet Explorer 5/Windows 2000 (0 points)
[ Reply ] [ New ] [ Email ] [ Print ] [ RSS ] [ Tales of the Parodyverse ]
Follow-Ups:

Echo™ v2.4 © 2003-2005 Powermad Software
Copyright © 2004-2005 by Mangacool Adventure